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Are you drowning in clutter and treasured keepsakes but can’t bear to part with any of it? Then enlist Maisie Messington—a creative clutterbug—to lead your decluttering crusade. Join Maisie and her sidekick, Dusty Hoover, a vintage vacuum who fancies himself a sports announcer, as they navigate the labyrinth of hoard. From crafting your unique “clutter identity” to curating collections that scream “artfully organized chaos,” you’ll learn to laugh at life’s little mess-ups while embracing your inner pack rat. It’s not just about the mess; Maisie’s journey is packed with peculiar predicaments, questionable advice, and an unexpected reunion of two lovers in a whole new way. You’ll also get questionable yet hilarious advice from Dusty, who uses his vacuum abilities to scarf up lost trinkets, hide bric-a-brac, and tidy up by magical expansion. So, let Maisie and Dusty be your guides through the gloriously grimy world of clutter conquest. Get ready to see the beauty in the bedlam. Trust us, it’s way more fun than tidying up. * * * Disclaimer: WARNING: This book is a safety hazard. The contents of this misguided guide should only be consumed in small doses by the properly inoculated. Side effects may include: • Sudden powerful cravings for abandoned hubcaps and antique shoe buckles • Development of a hoarding “clutter identity” involving ill-advised costume changes • Talking back sassily to household appliances (especially vintage vacuum cleaners) • Inability to discard old tax documents, dried-up pen caps, and singlets from your ska band days • Repurposing once serviceable dishware into whimsical yet unsanitary bird feeders • Crafting ill-advised shelving units from precariously stacked Storm of the Century memorabilia • Romantic entanglements with furniture and the odd haunted cuckoo clock • An urge to hotbox your closet with burning inherited needlepoint • Aggressive nesting within Goodwill donation pile habitats https://books2read.com/hoardersguide Comparable works include KonMari method